We are reclaiming us.
Us. All of us.
All of us women and men, people, experiencing infertility. We are reclaiming ourselves.
We are not crazy. We are not obsessed.
We are strong. Determined. Focused. Capable.
We know what we are and what we are not.
We are disappointed, frustrated, sad beyond understanding, bitter, weepy, unloving.
Because we are not parents.
And because we fear we will never be parents.
We are not these feelings, we have these feelings. Even when we fear that they have permeated every cell of our bodies, we are not these feelings.
We are lots of emotions. We have many characteristics.
And the indignity. (Yes, I said it. INDIGNITY.) The indignity of infertility and fertility treatment reveals lots of very temporary emotions, such as disappointment, sadness, bitterness, weepiness.
Infertility Reveals Our Resilience
Infertility also reveals our inner strength. Fortitude. Resilience. What a great word, resilience.
You think you’re not? You, who are going for your third IUI fertility treatment cycle, or fifth IVF cycle? You think you’re not resilient? When you’ve battled your way back up from the disappointment of the last cycles that didn’t work to try again? When you’re back in the waiting room to see if it’s time to try again?
Resilience. That’s not just a feeling. That’s a verb. That’s a characteristic. That’s in your DNA.
Resilience is what’s apparent to the rest of us when you have been disappointed and even as you wipe away the tears, you are scheduling your next appointment.
Resilience is what gets you through your fertility journey. It’s what makes you realize that you’re not quite done. Or not nearly done. Even when those around you think that you should be.
This is your journey. Not someone else’s. Your journey may look very different than your friends, or even your partners. Resilience is what keeps you in the game and it can look a lot like stubbornness. Or obsession.
But we’re going to name it resilience because it’s the most correct definition and shows that inner strength.
Humor Yourself Through Fertility Treatment
Humor. Even bad humor can make a lot of the disappointments lift, if only for a minute or two. Especially bad humor.
You are the one who can’t or won’t go to baby showers? Yeah, you! You want to go see a really bad movie instead? Ok then. Do it. Humor yourself. Do what you want about other people’s pregnancy announcements and updates. Don’t want to see another ultrasound on Facebook and don’t want to unfriend them? Fine. Don’t follow their newsfeed anymore. Don’t want to go to the hospital and see and hold another newborn that is not yours? Don’t. Go. Humor yourself.
Resilience & Humor.
#TwoFertilityWords that beat the pants off of crazy & obsessed.
What #TwoFertilityWords fit you best today?