There are two simple words that put us on the same side immediately. And they are?  Of course. Those two words are shorthand for three other equally simple words- we get it.

Imagine this- you’re in the middle of fertility treatment and no matter how carefully planned out-there are times that it can feel chaotic. The schedule that often changes because of responses to medications, unexpected test results, more time needed for conditions to be just right and more. And, if you’re in a fertility practice that individualizes treatment to each patient, then your path on a fertility treatment protocol may not be nearly as linear as you would like it to be. In fact, you can throw planning right out the window.

That goes for the emotional response as well. Expectations about how you are going to feel? Throw them out the window too.

Is This Normal? Of Course!

I find myself hearing this question from people in fertility treatment a lot- “am I crazy because I feel...?”

Fill in the blank, because the answer? It also depends on the moment.

I’m finding that I’m answering the question with “of course” at the beginning:

Of course, you’re excited about fertility treatment- it’s how you’re hoping you will become pregnant finally!

Of course, you’re nervous about fertility treatment- what will each step feel like?

Of course, you’re worried about giving yourself the first shot.

Of course, you’re elated to hear that the sperm are swimming beautifully this morning!

Of course, the possibility of the schedule changing makes you feel anxious.

Of course, the good news about the embryos makes you feel as light as a butterfly.

Of course, seeing pregnancy announcements on Facebook makes you happy for your friends AND makes you want to shut down your account at the very same time.

And

Of course can go on and on. And on. And there is nothing condescending meant, absolutely nothing dismissive, quite the opposite- of course means, “we get it”.

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We Get It

We get that the feelings fly all over the place. Of course, they do! Then add a hormone medication and a procedure or two, an extra visit to the doctor’s office and now you’ve really got a party going on.  

And we’re telling you here and now, of course - we get it. We get that this is one of the most challenging life situations you will ever face. And of course, you will feel tender. And vulnerable. And hopeful. (Some great ideas from one who’s gone through it, Sue Anne Johnston offers up some valuable advice to shift how you’re living your life and the choices that you’re making.)

And we do get it. And it is normal. And you may feel crazy but that doesn’t mean you are crazy.

Four words that are also really helpful to know?

You are not alone.

We get it.

We are here for you- five words. Have a question? Want to tell us something? Need to know that there’s someone who understands?

We get it.

Check out what RMACT offers. But please note- if we don’t have what you’re looking for, write and tell us. We’ll figure it out with you. 

And that’s a promise.

Topics: Infertility, infertility community, infertility courage, TTC, InfertiltySupport, infertility support, InfertilityCoping

Lisa Rosenthal

Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.

Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.

Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.

Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.

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