Infertility can redefine who we are.
What we say about ourselves reflects what we think about ourselves. How we feel about ourselves.
If I say I am infertile, I am defining myself in a static way. It’s a word, infertile, that is unchangeable. Infertile. It’s synonyms are equally as hopeless; sterile, unproductive, barren, unfruitful, childless, arid.
Just looking at that list of words makes my skin crawl. No one wants to feel that way about themselves. No one.
No one wants to feel diseased. Or ill. Or sick. Why would we?
We can say other things about ourselves.
We can choose our words carefully, with thought and care.
We can say that we are healthy, strong, vibrant people. Who have an illness. Or have a disease.
We can even say that we are fertile, capable people. Who are having an infertility problem.
We can say that when we can see that it’s true.
And it is true.
We are beautiful. We are strong. We are powerful.
We are capable.
We are fertile people, we are healthy people.
We are growth, in each and every moment, we are alive. Our lives are unfolding and we can be open to the change that is inevitable.
Or we can stay put. We can shield our eyes and avoid noticing that change is occurring.
Change is constant. It’s what we can count on– even when it feels like we are so stuck that we feel like we’ve got our feet planted in concrete.
We can see it. Can’t we? That this moment, similar as it is to so many other moments, is still its own.
Can you look at it with me?
And see how healthy and strong you are. Can you see that with me?
It’s how I see you.
It’s how I see me.
We are healthy, strong, vibrant, fertile people. My ability to grow is my fertility.
My ability to understand and to understand more, that’s my fertility.
My growth for today.
I see you as strong and healthy.
I see you as fertile.
I see me the same way.