RMACT'S Melissa Kelleher, LCSW, reflects on the feelings you may experience during the holiday season if you, or someone you know, is going through infertility.
Just as you and your partner may be coping with infertility differently, you can have two very different instincts about where to go and how long to stay during the holiday season.
One perspective is that it’s great to be around family & friends while the other partner may find that choice very stressful.
If you’re at odds about going versus not going, one important tool to use is communication & negotiation.
Tip: Maybe stay for a shorter time, leave earlier, get there late or pick the gatherings that are most significant.
Staying Connected With Partner
Another tool is to check in with each other during the event to see how it’s going and agree beforehand that if you use the secret signal (or handshake or word) that you make your good-bye’s & leave. This could also be the perfect time to create a new holiday ritual, taking a break from what you usually do (even if it’s only for this year). Try to avoid one person staying home and one person going unless that’s the absolute best solution for both of you. Really, there’s no one perfect answer as we’re all individuals so communicate with each other and find a solution that’s just right for the two of you.
Melissa is RMACT's licensed fertility counselor. Melissa works with couples and individuals during their fertility journey, helping them handle loss and disappointments, as well as giving them the tools to make decisions related to their fertility challenges.