Self care during infertility can mean a lot of different things.
It can mean saying NO, very, very loudly. Outrageously loudly. Gigantically loudly.
No, I'm not going to be able to plan your baby shower.
No, I won't be able to come to the hospital to see your newborn.
No, I don't want to discuss why I don't have children yet.
No, I don't care to hear what my cousin, twice removed on my mother-in-laws side in Portugual did to get pregnant.
No, I'm not pregnant yet.
It can also mean saying yes. Also very loud. Emphatically. Over and over again.
Yes, I'm staying in tonight and watching my favorite movie with my favorite friend and eating popcorn.
Yes, I'm getting a manicure every single week, needed or not.
Yes, I'm going to visit my bestie (who happens to have no children). She lives in a warm, tropical place.
Yes, I'm happy to walk that 5K with you on Sunday.
Yes, I'm all set with great fertility doctors.
Yes, I do know that if I adopted, likely I would get pregnant immediately afterwards despite having tried on my own for three years and been in fertility treatment for two.
No's and yes's can flip around rather easily. No, I won't take more work on means yes, I will have time for myself. No to others often means saying yes to yourself.