I haven’t done a blog on the weather in a long time. And I am a bit of a weather geek.

finding-balance-during-infertilityBut not in the traditional sense. My favorite way of gauging the temperature is opening my front door, sticking my arm out and waving it around.  

So maybe I’m more of a weather observer than a weather geek.

And this? This is my favorite weather. Hands down, favorite. Sorry summer, my sincere apologies autumn and you know I love you winter.

Perfectly balanced weather. No heat on in the house. No air conditioning. The temperature of between 65-72 inside feels soothing and comfortable. The air feels like a second skin, the sweater that you need when it’s necessary and is absent when you don’t.

Finding perfect balance is elusive. Whether you are a gymnast on a balance beam, quite literally trying to avoid toppling off either side or more figuratively seeking an emotional spot that feels comfortable.

Finding Hope During a Fertility Cycle

Infertility and balance have an uneasy relationship.

It’s that tiny place that you can barely fit on, where you perch, between hope and realism. The fear?

That if you hope too high, you fall and land so much harder. So best not to get our hopes up too high. Best not to let them fill like a balloon and float towards the stars. Best not to imagine the good news, the feeling of relief, of having made it.

The hope too high makes the descent to earth much too painful.

Deep breath in. Long breath out.

Allowing hope to carry us where it does, delightful imaginings, wonderful images of the earth below. Floating above.

Drifting lightly back to earth. Or hovering just a few inches above.

Deep breath in. Long breath out.

I accept that balance happens for me when I acknowledge that this is not under my control. This moment. This attempt. This weather. This IVF cycle.

I do my best. And it is enough.

Deep breath in. Long breath out.

I neither inflate nor deflate my hope. I allow my feelings to carry me up and to keep me tethered to the earth.

The earth reminds me that all sorts of extremes can be tolerated. Even embraced. The coldest February in recorded history is a memory with the advent of the warm breezes. There is no bitterness held by the earth for the cold. The flowers are revealing themselves. The earth has returned to flourish.

Deep breath in. Long breath out.

Hope with your inhalation. Contentment with your exhalation.

This season, this day, this moment, I breathe in. I breathe out.

I allow myself to be carried upwards and I trust that I will be released gently.

Deep breath in. Long breath out.

We hope. Of course we do. Even with repeated disappointments, we continue to hope. There’s that tiny little ember that remains lit.

Deep breath in. Long breath out.

You are not alone.

We are hoping with you.

And we are here to embrace you when need be.

Deep breath in. Long breath out.

May you enjoy this glorious day.

Topics: Feelings, Support

Lisa Rosenthal

Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.

Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.

Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.

Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.

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