Secondary infertility is defined by not being able to have another baby after having one. With secondary infertility, you may or may not have had trouble having the first babies that you have. Some of us who have secondary infertility have also had primary infertility (experiencing difficulty having the first baby in our family).
There is a sense of being in between worlds with secondary infertility because while we don't fit in with the not-yet parents, we also don't fit in as comfortably as we would like with the parents who are seemingly procreating at will.Situations and circumstances that we cannot avoid when we are parents can really hurt when having that next baby is difficult. We are immersed in the car seat, potty training, birthday party, solid food eating, day care, milestone hitting lives of the child (or children) that we have, even as we are feeling the pain of not being able to complete our families with another successful pregnancy. There is no way to avoid pregnancies, babies and children when you are a parent and there are constant reminders of how others are expanding their families while you still are not.
Free Secondary Infertility Support Group- When Your Family Is Not Complete
And as much as we try, we don't feel as comfortable as we would like with the parents yet to be. We are asked to focus on our present infertility situation but that is wrapped up in our family as it is right now- which includes a child or children. We know what it's like to be a mommy or daddy and we cherish that even as we yearn for another child.
Sometimes we even feel guilt when we are in a group of people who have primary infertility- after all, we have a child! We are often reminded to feel grateful that we are parents as though somehow we weren't already aware of how lucky we are. More often than not, we are even more grateful for our children as the reality of possibly not being able to have another sets in. It doesn't stop our hearts from yearning for another child though and completing our family as we've dreamed of it.
And So We Fit Neither Here Nor There
We don't quite fit in the parent group and we don't quite fit with the not parent yet group.
What's a perfect fit? A group of people who understand many of the feelings that we are having because they are having them too- other parents who are yearning to have another child.
Our goal is to support all people who are trying to build their family.
To that end, we are so pleased to announce RMACT's Melissa Kelleher, LCSW
will be leading a free Secondary Infertility Support Group on March 29, Wednesday (starting April, the group will meet on the last Thursday of every month) at 10:00 am. Please RSVP for this free group that will include bagels, coffee, tea and conversation with others who are also experiencing secondary infertility.