What you never wanted to know about your partner= Too Much Information (TMI).
You’ve seen each other in happy situations and in sad ones, but still, there are some things that you really wish you could unknow. Close your eyes and make it all go away.
TMI Infertility Style
Kind of like infertility. Wouldn’t that be the best? Close your eyes and it was all a bad dream. Just kidding, here’s the positive pregnancy test– you’re due in nine months. All a bad dream, that stupid infertility. Instead, you’re stuck waking up with the same depressing reality. No baby.
And then there are the other things you would like to wish away. What you’ve learned about your partner while experiencing infertility.
What you’ve learned about yourself too.
Here are a few examples of Too Much Information:
What kind of pornography they like to watch when they have to give a “sample”.
What kind of pads are used and for which days.
How high their hormone levels could go before irrational became a fond memory.
When they become Mayor of Crazyland.
How your partner/spouse could be so dense as to not know what day of the medication cycle you are on.
What they tell their friends/colleagues about why you still have no children.
How much better you feel after having a cuddle session with your “fur baby”.
That after two years of fertility treatment, they no longer bother to shave their legs for doctor’s appointments.
They wonder if their semen specimen is bigger or smaller than the last guys.
They estimate how much money they’ve spent on fertility treatment cycles and the man cave that they could have had instead.
They calculate how old they will be when their children turn 18, if they have children this year.
What they said when they were still under the effect of anesthesia.
That they get turned on by giving you a shot because they get to see your butt.
That their idea of a hot date is sitting on an ice pack while watching a movie that is guaranteed to make you cry.
That seeing pregnant bellies are guaranteed to make you run for cover.
Birth announcements are put into the shredder without even being read.
Best friends are avoided like the plague when they are on baby number three.
Feminine hygiene products are being used all month long.
It’s just too much information. Certainly not what you signed up for, not even close. Sickness and health? That doesn’t really cover menstrual cycles and masturbation, does it?
Or maybe it really does.
Maybe it covers all of it.
Maybe too much information is just what you need to know so that your partner doesn’t feel alone.
What do you think?