Pregnancy Questions & Funny ResponsesFunny? Ha ha? Or just plain strange? The pregnancy questions that we get asked!

What’s funnier? The ones that we get asked that are just downright insensitive, intrusive and blunt? OK, very often, they are not so funny. Although sometimes, they just do hit our funny bones in exactly the right place.

Or is it funnier when we’re not asked anything. Directly. The ones where our friends/family members are dancing around the question that they really want to ask or the statement that they really want to make? You can see it. They just won’t say it.

I choose the latter as the funnier. The second. The ones where there’s an attempt to be sensitive, politically correct and just plain NOT nosey. Except it doesn’t really work, does it? Especially when you can see it simmering right under the surface.

Common Pesky Pregnancy Questions

You may be familiar with some of these non-questions. Some common examples go like this-

Sooooo, do YOU have any news you might like to share with us?
Translation: Aren’t you freaking pregnant yet?

You know, So & So just had their ninth (and they say, LAST) baby, shall we ask her to put away baby clothes for you just in case you may need them for the future?
Translation: Do you think you could manage to just give us one baby while everyone else is on their second, third, fourth and so on? Just one?

Welcome, come in. What can I get you to drink? Nothing? Nothing alcoholic? Oh. OK. You sure?
Translation: Come on, TELL US, are you pregnant? How pregnant are you? Why aren’t you telling us??????

We’re planning a family reunion down in the Bahamas for April. Can we count you in or is there some reason that you won’t be able to make it?
Translation: Are you pregnant, are you pregnant, will you be pregnant, why aren’t you pregnant yet, how much longer until you’re pregnant, come on, get pregnant all ready!?

It’s so lovely to have the house filled with little ones. The holidays just don’t feel the same without any babies around.
Translation: You are a selfish, selfish person. You don’t care about how much your partner wants a baby. You don’t care about how much we want a baby in the family. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

Funny Responses To "When Are You Getting Pregnant?"

Wanna have some fun with this? Come on, you know you do. A few possible answers to the above questions/statements:

Sooooo, do YOU have any news you might like to share with us?
Translation: Aren’t you freaking pregnant yet?  
Your Response: Yeah, we’re so excited to tell you that our refinance came through and our mortgage payments are lower by $400 dollars! Or, Yes, I got a raise at my job and so we’re going to go skiing this winter out west instead of New England. Thanks for asking!

You know, So & So just had their ninth (and they say, LAST) baby, shall we ask her to put away baby clothes for you just in case you may need them for the future?
Translation: Do you think you could manage to just give us one baby while everyone else is on their second, third, fourth and so on? Just one?
Your Response: Sounds like those baby clothes have had really good use, have you considered having them donated to a homeless shelter? Or, when we are ready, we are financially well-off enough to buy all new things, thank you.

Welcome, come in. What can I get you to drink? Nothing? Nothing alcoholic? Oh. OK. You sure?
Translation: Come on, TELL US, are you pregnant? How pregnant are you? Why aren’t you telling us??????
Your Response: Alcoholism runs in my family so I prefer not to drink. Or, I want to be able to enjoy myself thoroughly tonight and alcohol makes me so sleepy. 

We’re planning a family reunion down in the Bahamas for April. Can we count you in or is there some reason that you won’t be able to make it?
Translation: Are you pregnant, are you pregnant, will you be pregnant, why aren’t you pregnant yet, how much longer until you’re pregnant, come on, get pregnant all ready!?
Your Response: The Bahamas sound great although we’ve all ready planned a trip to Paris so we might not be able to make it. Or, you know, we’ve been to the Bahamas so many times, we may just skip it this year.

It’s so lovely to have the house filled with little ones. The holidays just don’t feel the same without any babies around. Translation: You are a selfish, selfish person. You don’t care about how much your partner wants a baby. You don’t care about how much we want a baby in the family. Selfish, selfish, selfish.
Your Response: Oh, I’m so enjoying the ability to have adult conversation without interruptions, aren’t you? Or, You know, I think that So & So are hoping to have another child, let’s hope that they show up next time with a baby in arms.

I would like it noted, there was no swearing in any of my responses. No name calling even. Not even out right snarkiness.

Just a little harmless fun.

After all, if you can’t have a little fun at these parties and get-togethers, what’s the point?

Topics: Support, Questions, Humor

Lisa Rosenthal

Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.

Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.

Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.

Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.

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