On November 8, 2015, Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT) in partnership with SingleMomstoBe and Single Mothers by Choice, will be participating in an event especially created for women who are thinking about or are ready to become single moms.
We are honored to be partnering once again with Jane Mattes, LCSW. Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., a NYC psychotherapist and single mother by choice, founded Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) in 1981 after having her son, Eric, in 1980. In addition to writing the book, Single Mothers by Choice, she has overseen the growth of SMC from the original chapter in NYC to chapters all around the US, and in Canada, Europe and beyond. Over thirty thousand single women, predominantly in their thirties and forties, have joined SMC during that time. She has met and spoken with thousands of SMC members while they were going through the processes of thinking, trying and mothering, and is a spokesperson for SMC in the media.
Jane continues to practice as a psychotherapist and as the Director of the Single Mothers by Choice organization.
Jane was gracious enough to talk with me regarding why an event like this is important if you are considering becoming a single mom.
Single Mothers By Choice Founder Jane Mattes Shares Why You Should Attend
Lisa Rosenthal (LR): Why is it important to come to a face-to-face meeting to discuss becoming a single mom? Why not just participate on an online forum?
Jane Mattes, LCSW (JM): It’s valuable because of real connections, meeting face to face with others that are on similar stages of their journey. And others who are ahead to learn from and who are still in the thinking stage who may have something to learn from you.
LR: Will I have tangible information to take away after the event?
JM: Last year, there were some extraordinary connections made between women who were attending. It was an exciting opportunity to speak with one another, as well as with the professionals that were there. The peer interaction particularly helped to validate the importance of speaking to others looking to become single moms.
In addition, the meeting and presentations do focus on the logistics and the statistics of becoming a single mom. The larger structure is reviewed as well as the details that are involved. I bring my experience of having worked with hundreds of women over thirty four years, as a psychotherapist and my own personal experience becoming a single mom.
LR: What if someone is pretty sure they know what they need to know about becoming a single mom. Is this event going to go beyond the basics?
JM: It’s good to know that you are right. Or if there is some other way that the situation you are in can be viewed. There is not always one way to see the journey on becoming a single mom, so being open to hearing something new is helpful. I share my experience of having been a single mom for thirty four years. What it was like before my child came, what it was like raising him and what it’s like now.
Questions About Considering to Become a Single Mom by Choice
Here is a list of questions that are likely to be covered during our time together at the event. Please do bring your own as well. This will be a safe place to ask questions that may feel uncomfortable in other situations.
- What do I tell my child about where their daddy is?
- What do I tell my close family about my child’s father?
- What do I tell my friends and work colleagues?
- How do I answer my child when they ask if a male visitor or relative is their daddy?
- How do I fill in for daddy? Do I consider having a close male friend as a male role model? Do I accept that in our family, that a daddy is just not part of the dynamic?
- What to do about traditional daddy and child events? How do I come to peace with this so that I can manage these things without an overriding feeling of guilt for what my child does not have?
- How deliberately should I set up my support system? Do I think about emergency contacts? Do I arrange for a guardian immediately should something happen to me?
- What do I do about dating? How soon do I introduce a date to my child? How soon do I tell someone I’m dating that I have a child?
- Do I look into childcare as soon as I become pregnant? Depending on the flexibility of my job, do I also set up someone to help when my child becomes ill so that I don’t have to miss work?
- If my family is not supportive, what do you suggest?
Single Women Pursuing Parenthood Exploring Options, Available Resources and Community Support
Please join us for this free event on Sunday, November 8, 2015 from 10:00 am-12:00 noon
Spencer Richlin, MD, Partner, Lead Physician of Single Moms To Be at RMACT
Lisa Schuman, LCSW, Director of Psychological Services, RMACT
Jane Mattes, LCSW, Founder of Single Mothers by Choice
Breakfast will be served
Hotel Zero Degrees
353 Main Avenue Norwalk, CT
This event is free but registration is required. To register, please visit singlemomstobe.com/events or email: firstname.lastname@example.org and enter “11/8 event” in the subject line.
Topics: Single Female