During the holiday season, there’s a push to celebrate. To be grateful. To enjoy.
To attend things you don’t feel like attending.
To buy gifts that you can’t afford.
To give to people that you rarely see simply because they will be giving to you and that’s the tradition.
There’s a lot of pressure to be in the holiday spirit. That pressure comes from all over– from magazines, the radio, the stores, social media. And we also put pressure on ourselves.
We want to ho ho ho even when what we actually feel is bah humbug.
How Do You Feel About the Holiday Season?
Trying to find a balance between ho ho ho and bah humbug during the holiday season?
There are those that say, “Don’t let infertility steal your joy and your holiday rituals. Continue with your lives and enjoy what there is to enjoy. Be grateful for what there is to be grateful for.” Ho ho ho.
There are those that say, “Enough all ready. Enough of the relentless holiday cards with babies and children. Enough of trying to make lemon cake out of lemons. Just enough.“ Bah humbug.
Me? I swung wildly between the two extremes. There was no middle ground. I was either out in the midst of things, raising a glass in cheer or hiding under the blankets with my dog and a good (ok, crappy) book.
There’s certainly room for both. Ho ho ho. And bah humbug.
Some things you may treasure even more dearly while you’re still waiting and hoping for your children. Like treasuring time with your own parents or siblings. Or even your nieces and nephews. Putting decorations up or making special holiday foods may feel even more important without other things that you have been hoping for and dreaming of. Maybe you feel even more grateful for people that you love and cherish in your life, that you can still hug and hold them. Still spend time with them.
It’s more than ok to have a bah humbug side too. Maybe we could even see it as a healthy retreat. One where you take care of yourself, before you take care of family and friends. Where you put yourself on your own list as important and relevant. That might mean skipping a party or two and opting for a quiet evening at home. That deep breath in, slowing down, could make bah humbug a lot closer to ho ho ho.
Balancing Fertility Ho Ho Ho's and Bah Humbug's
The balance between fertility ho ho ho's and bah humbug could be as crystal clear as knowing that either way your mood swings, it’s really ok. Isn’t it really?
Making a choice may hurt someone. This is a truth. A truth.
Making a choice not to hurt someone else might hurt you. That is a truth as well.
If going to the party, gathering or celebration will hurt you, I ask you to please consider that as seriously as you will consider the not going that will hurt someone else. You are as important as everyone else you are considering.
What a concept. You are as important as everyone else you are considering.
I like that.
Perhaps that’s the balancing point between ho ho ho and bah humbug.
You. As an important part of the equation.
Not just you as pleasing someone else. Even someone else that is really important to you.
You are as important as everyone else you are considering.
That seems like a sane, healthy place in which to make a decision.