A positive pregnancy test. Exactly what you've been dreaming and hoping for! It's exciting and yet, often, it doesn't quite sink in immediately.  When the pregnancy has been so elusive, believing that it's happened can be a process. For some of you, it may very well be that first blood drawn and the first "yes". For some of you, you want to see those numbers double two days later. Some of us want to have that first scan and see the initial yolk sack. For others, the heartbeat is the first confirmation that they can really believe in. If there has been any loss of a pregnancy on your fertility journey, you may only believe it's real when there's a baby in your arms and often not before that.

I'm here to remind you of what I often like to remind you. Don't push yourself along faster than your heart and mind are leading you. Don't "should" yourself. Just as there is a process in getting pregnant, in our cases much more complicated than others, there is also a process of acceptance. If you feel tentativeness along with the joy, allow that to be. Just as spring is coming, our feelings often need that time to unfold, to thaw and ultimately to take hold.

Treat yourself and your partner gently during this initial finding out. Tell people or don't, as you feel comfortable. It's similar to telling people when you are going through infertility cycles. The issues are the same. If you tell people, there is a possibility of helpful support; there is also the possibility of feeling like your privacy is being invaded when questions that you are not ready for are asked or the subject is brought up when you don't expect it to be. If you choose not to share the news of your new pregnancy or your infertility treatment, your friends and family cannot support, help or celebrate with you, nor will they be bringing things up at inopportune times. Often finding the right people to share the news with is the balance that you may be looking for. Asking them to wait for you to broach the subject again as opposed to asking you about it can be helpful as well.

Hearing that most wonderful news, the news that is the reason for all the shots, ultrasounds, blood draws and procedures, is what you've been waiting for; allow it time to sink in. Perhaps savoring the time it takes to become real to you allows it to be that much sweeter. Almost like that lemon drop on the tongue melting on the tongue, the flavor becomes more intense as time goes on.

Watching the Oscars last night and seeing the first woman accept the award for Best Director, Kathryn Bigelow, how awesome was that?! Something that she knew was a possibility, after all she was nominated, therefore there was a one in twenty per cent chance she would win. And yet, she was clearly in shock. Happy and elated, and also in shock. How much sweeter will that award feel this morning? Or later this week? It seems clear that the satisfaction will deepen as the realization of the award really saturates her being. When she is able to have a few moments of time alone. Wow. Yes, I really did win.

Wow. Yes, I really am pregnant. Congratulations.

Lisa Rosenthal

Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.

Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.

Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.

Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.

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