Infertility Support – You Are Not Toxic

infertility support

A new pet peeve about how we talk about ourselves.

Detoxing programs.

I spend most of my life acknowledging that I’m not broken, that I’m a human being who makes great decisions and sometimes lousy ones.  I’m not broken and neither of you. How many times have I said that here on this blog?

You are not infertile. You are a person.

You Are Not Infertility

We talk about not being our disease, whatever it might be. Could be infertility. Could be cancer. Could be arthritis. We are not our diseases. We are people who live in fallible, lovely bodies. Not perfect bodies. Not perfect minds, for that matter either. Nor even perfect hearts. 

I eat a lot of the right things. I eat some things that are considered “wrong”. Although, please, read enough and you will find studies and statistics that support almost all of the “wrong” foods. Like coffee, alcohol, sugar, etc. I’m not perfect. I make the best decisions that I can in any given moment. Like most of us do.

So how did I all of a sudden become toxic? It stands to reason that if I am “detoxing”, I am toxic.

Stupid language. More than that, stupid concept. Yes, I said STUPID. 

Cleanse is mildly better, I suppose. It implies dirty but I’m fond of dirt so I’m ok with that.

Definition, or rather, synonyms of toxic- poisonous, virulent, noxious, deadly.

That’s what I’m supposed to think about myself? I have to remember that I am not my disease but I’m instead supposed to believe that I’m deadly? Or noxious? 

I may be a lot of things that I don’t love and that other’s don’t appreciate. I can be sarcastic. I can be mean-spirited. I can be unkind, especially when I am tired.

But I am not those things. I can act those ways, but they are not me.

Neither am I ugly because certain styles don’t look well on me. Or fat because I’m not a perfect size 2. I am not stupid. I am not a moron, even when I leave my keys in the car 3 times in one week and then lock the car. I am not incompetent because I don’t know where the post office is and I have lived in the same town for over twenty years.

You Are a Human Being – Not a Failure

I am a human being with talents and failings. My body may be terrific at metabolism or healthy skin or teeth and less good at making babies. My kidneys do their job superbly but my ovaries, not so much.

I am a human being. Not a failure.

Not toxic.

Not infertility.

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Topics: Infertility, Support

Lisa Rosenthal

Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.

Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.

Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.

Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.

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