Fertility and Holiday Meditation Ideas from Tesa Baum
I promised you guest bloggers. And here's our first, Tesa Baum. A great way to start, by offering some help with the holidays and the craziness that we sometimes get into. Especially challenging for those of us in fertility treatment or sad that we are still without our babies.
Read beneath her blog post for her official bio and her beautiful picture.
Meanwhile, here are her thoughtful and very helpful suggestions for the holiday season.
The Holiday Smackdown: Mindfulness vs. The Monkey Mind
Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose and non-judgmentally--in the present moment as if your life depended on it. Because it does, actually.
The Monkey Mind is a way to describe the agitated, easily distracted and incessantly moving behavior of ordinary human consciousness.
I have a confession. Even as a practitioner of holistic wellness and healing, I succumb to the monkey mind. I find that my mind is often wandering and thinking about my To Do List, going over my daily activities and plans for tomorrow, or replaying moments from the past. Yes, just like you, I find it is difficult for me to sustain focus, appreciate, and absorb the present moment, whether that moment feels pleasant or challenging.
Ironically, the Holiday Season, the time of year that gives us the most frequent and meaningful reasons to remain in the moment, is also the most favorable arena for The Monkey Mind to dominate our thinking. As our holiday season responsibilities escalate, we can become overwhelmed, sad, frustrated, lonely, scared and depressed, especially if we are feeling the loss of fertility, and so we struggle to attain balance. All bets are placed on The Monkey Mind.
This holiday season, together, let's shift the odds in favor of Mindfulness. Neither you nor I can simply stop thinking. But, by practicing a quick mindful meditation technique, we can become less attached to our thoughts and less swayed by every passing emotion.
What does this mean for grief, loss, sadness, and feelings of isolation during this holiday time? We don't want to feel trapped and consumed by these feelings. Unfortunately we begin to fear these feelings so much and then all we want to do is "move on". Mindfulness reminds us that pain and sorrow, like all else, is not permanent.
Does this mean that disturbing feelings will go away completely? And stay away? Of course not. But it does mean that they will change shape and form, they will ebb and flow, some days won't be great and some days you will start to smile. It means that our grief, like everything else, is only temporary. Once we accept this, even if only on a rational level, some of the need to avoid our grief starts to diminish. We can stop believing it is permanent, even when we feel it will last forever. Instead of battling your feelings, let them stay with you and treat them compassionately. Once you learn to stop looking at your negative feelings as a taboo, they can start to dissolve. Accept uncertainty and try to allow it to coexist with who you are. You will be pleasantly surprised how fleeting and impermanent these feelings can be. It takes a lot practice. Here's how you can start!
Tesa's Seven Minute Monkey Mind Smackdown Meditation
I am pretty sure that I am the first holistic healing practitioner to leverage WrestleMania terminology in a meditation technique! But, we all truly wrestle with this beast day in and day out. And, even though this technique doesn't require a lot of muscle, I want you to feel powerful in its defeat. Here are four simple steps to follow:
1. Find a quiet place and set a timer for 7 minutes.
2. Close your eyes, and establish a point of focus-your natural breath moving in and out.
3. When your mind wanders, don't be critical of yourself. Allow the thoughts to come and go and gently bring yourself back to your point of focus.
4. When we start to get really heavy and all we want to do is run away, that’s when to simply say to the thoughts, “hello, I see you, welcome”.
After completing this exercise, I feel extremely focused and I am able to really enjoy the moment. I am going to commit to this meditation practice each and every day during this holiday season. I hope that you commit too, both to practicing and to feeling more present.
In the New Year I will circle back on this topic and let you know the impact of my meditation. And, in the meantime, feel free to reach out to me and let me know your experience with this holiday survival tip.
Tesa Baum, R.M., CHT
Tesa is a Reiki Master Healer and Certified Hypnotherapy Practitioner.
Tesa is passionate about natural healing and helping people live their lives to the fullest.
Her goal is to help people experience inner peace, purpose, and inspiration. She is a member of the International Association of Reiki Professional (IARP) and has studied energy work, healing and meditation. She practices in Westport & Ridgefield, CT and Mt. Kisco, NY. Tesa works with individuals of all ages, groups, and facilitates workshops.
The Center for Health and Healing Wellness Center
Westport Hypnosis Group
Follow Lisa on Google+