Infertility Chaos - Turning to Calm
“You don’t have to suffer continual chaos in order to grow.” John C. Lilly
Some people react to crises with calm composure. Those same people will react to other types of crises or challenges with a less calm demeanor.
How about you? Does a roadblock in your way cause frenzy, either in your behavior or in your emotions? Does the challenge cause turmoil or do you accept that it’s part of your journey like all the good and easy, sweet things?
Infertility is a crisis. It’s a road block that can feel like a massive and unassailable impediment. More like a mountain than something that will give way and be temporary.
And that’s where today’s quote comes in handy. In the middle of a crisis, any crisis, there is the temptation to be in a state of chaos. I find it very tempting to blame the chaos on the situation. I can find excuses, always, about why this or that hasn’t happened or has happened and the crisis is always a good thing to blame it on.
Really though, maybe it’s just about time to learn how to grow without chaos. When facing infertility, there are schedule changes; unexpected test results, insensitive comments from family/friends and more that can cause chaotic feelings and reactions.
I personally like meditation. Which I am terrible at; my mind chatters about what I need to get done, my thoughts wander around the universe and back home, my nose itches and I want desperately to wiggle my toes. My method these days is to candle gaze. Carrie Van Steen is my hero! She meditates and she didn’t even know that’s what she was doing. Light a candle, gaze at it. Focus on the flame. Soften your thoughts. Then soften your thoughts and your judgment of yourself when you realize that you are having thoughts. Allow yourself to let go of other distractions and just keep looking. Consider it a mini-vacation. Consider it a major vacation.
Maybe chaos is more productive for you than it is for me. I notice the whirlwind and realize that I’m the eye of the storm. The eye is calm, yet I create frenetic activity all around me. What if I choose instead to extend that calm, that sense of peace and quiet from the eye of the storm?
What if? What if I chose quiet over chaos? Let the business slip away. The din to die down.
I feel capable of making a different choice and I am ready to practice it during less chaotic moments.
Who’s willing to try with me?
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