Infertility Is Not Who You Are
It’s intriguing to me that people--family, friends, students and work colleagues--call me strong, calm and capable. I believe that they are right, at least in some measure. The intriguing part comes in when I mention that I am also selfish, arrogant and nasty.
Intriguing as in those traits are also true, in some measure and yet those same friends and family members become acutely uncomfortable at my mentioning them.
Infertility has the ability of making us look at the entire person; gives us the capability of doing so. Oftentimes we don’t; we become so focused on our reproductive tract not operating properly that we become consumed and feel that’s all we are. An inefficient, ineffective reproductive system. That’s who we become, who we see in the mirror when we brush our teeth. Who we see when we are commuting to work. Who we feel we are while we move through the world. We become infertility.
If we look beyond our reproductive system (put in heart, lung, kidney, and read on), we can see that so much of our physical bodies are working very well indeed. That we have our five senses that bring in information, our central nervous system that operates our muscular and skeletal systems; we have our heartbeat and breath that need very little active attention from us to keep us alive. We are whole and complete human beings, even with one of our systems not operating properly or efficiently.
We Are Not Walking Infertility Diagnoses
Simply put, according to Dr. Mark Leondires, we are not walking infertility diagnoses.
Of course, at the beginning of this blog, I was actually looking at this from the opposite point of view. That when looking at others, we often only want to see the good aspects of that person. My friends and those who feel kindly towards me are much less accepting of the fact that I have faults. Sometimes even when they are staring those faults right in the face.
Somewhere in the middle, where we are allowed to be human beings, our hearts and breath remind us of this simple truth. We are kind and sometimes not. We are loving and sometimes less than loving. We are generous and we can be stingy.
We are human beings with aspects that we admire and want to share and we are human beings with traits of which we are much less fond.
When we become so engrossed in our fertility treatment that we forget that we are mainly healthy, strong human beings, we have lost an aspect of our vision. To see ourselves as we truly are: beautiful human beings.
I don’t love that I can be greedy or selfish or arrogant. I really don’t even particularly like those aspects of myself, much less love them. I do accept that they are part of who I am and I do make decisions to not act on them when I am at my most sane. I am aware of these less popular traits and do a few simple things to keep them quiet.
I eat properly. Sleep enough. Work enough. Laugh enough. Read enough. Work out enough. Drink a lot of water. And so on.
It’s a great day to accept ourselves for who we are; beautiful human beings.
I’m working on it. And you?
Happy April Fool's Day ~
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