The Cost of Fertility Treatment
There’s a lot of conversation right now out there about the cost of fertility treatment, specifically the cost of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Words like lies and scams are being used, not necessarily in reference to the cost; but most certainly to the promise of these treatments. If you are interested in adding your voice to the conversation, next week I will be creating a blog comprised of your opinions. I’ve had a lot of conversation on my own Facebook page, which with permission, I will reprint here on PathtoFertiity. If you would like to contribute anonymously, please email me at FertileYoga@gmail.com. That is a secure and private email address. Of course you can respond right here on the blog as well. Look for that blog next week. We will have a lot of well respected professionals in the field commenting, as well as personal accounts with men and women who have been through treatment. I would love to add your voice.
For today though, I’m going to ramp it down a notch. Take it from the financial, political, national and global back to the personal.
My biggest cost with fertility treatment was not the thousands of dollars that I spent. Please note that I was a school teacher in the New York City school system at the time, making a whopping $18,000 a year. Even twenty-five years ago, that didn’t pay for IVF. My husband and I were both young, relatively new in our careers and insurance covered nothing. Believe me, money was a huge issue when it came to fertility treatment.
Something Even Bigger Than IVF Cost
Even so, it was not my biggest cost. My biggest cost was my peace of mind. I had a group of beautiful women in Fertile Yoga the other night and I heard echoes of that; still audible even through the decades since I’ve been in treatment. My peace of mind was not possible twenty-five years ago. It was something that I noticed was absent as though I might have noticed a glowing sunset; fleetingly.
Kind of like, “Oh, look, there goes my peace of mind” as it vanished around a corner.
I had no expectation that it would or should or could stay with me throughout treatment.
I never, in my wildest dreams, ever thought I would make the statement I am about to make, but here it comes.
I’m grateful to that last year of infertility and fertility treatment.
Finding Peace of Mind During Infertility
The sixth year. It was the year that I found my peace of mind. That feeling calm and centered was the normal rather than that fleeting moment that I tried to grasp with my trembling fingers. It was the year that I knew that I was ok and would be ok however treatment turned out. That ok felt more than ok, it actually felt grand. I felt empowered that year. I quit my stressful, albeit beloved job. I moved to a brand new geographical place for the first time in my life. I started to practice my yoga regularly and with love. I changed how I looked at food and then followed those thoughts to change what and how I ate. I lovingly detached from several destructive relationships with friends; relationships that had run their course.
I found, like hope and money, that peace of mind was also renewable. That hope diminished, grew again and so did a peaceful way of being.
I am grateful for that sixth year of infertility. It was the year that I learned that peace of mind was a state of being, not the universe giving me what I wanted; it was a state of inner being not dependent on the circumstances, people, places or things around me.
At my most desperate, sad, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, scared, angry, I come back again to that lesson I learned from infertility. Peace of mind, hope, and yes, even money are all renewable.
My peace of mind today is a decision I make. It’s my prayer and meditation every morning.
Happy weekend everyone. I look forward to what you are willing to share with me on what the cost of fertility treatment means to you.
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