Last Day of the Year

Sun and winter beach It’s the last day of the year. In my family, that means that last night we celebrated my husband’s birthday. I try hard to make sure that he doesn’t get overlooked; between the holidays and the New Year, that would be easy to do. Especially given his personality. He wouldn’t mind, not really, if his birthday wasn’t celebrated. As long as he skis on his birthday, he’s all set.

 

He knows what he wants, he knows what he needs and he creates the day to fulfill and satisfy himself.

 

A lot of us reflect on the past year on this date. What have we done that we wanted to do? What have we done that we did not want to do? If we made New Year's resolutions a year ago, how well did they hold up?

 

I summarize. I look at the big things from 2013. It’s too large a chunk of time to examine each day, so it’s the bigger things that stand out.

 

The bigger things are important, no doubt. I do judge myself on those moments and occasions, and I do mean judge myself. I know for myself that in the tenderest moments, what I need to reflect on is my day to day behavior; my choices on an hourly basis. And this I need to do more frequently. Much more frequently than once a year.

 

Each evening I spend some time asking myself questions.

Self Reflection Questions

Here are some of the self reflection questions that I find myself pondering.

 

Was I kind?

 

Was I honest?

 

Was I loving?

 

Was I authentic?

 

Was I helpful to others?

 

Was I true to myself?

 

Did I do what needed to be done?

 

Was I grateful?

 

Was I present?

 

I don’t ask myself each of those questions every night. Not surprisingly, I find myself asking the questions that I need to each night. It’s when I’m wondering about my honesty that I ask myself about my honesty. It’s when I’m uncomfortable about whether I was as kind as I could have been that I ask myself about kindness.

 

I clean it up every night. I acknowledge to myself what I didn’t do as well as I would have liked. I look at it honestly and forgive myself (the best that I can), so I can start the next day, in a fresh, clean way.

 

What I like best about this? I don’t have a lot of clean up to do tonight. I don’t have a lot of regrets about 2013 that I haven’t already processed. There’s not a lot of discomfort hanging around about what I could have, should have, done better or different. I’ve looked at most of it already and feel mainly at peace with my choices and behavior.

 

My daily clean up means that at the end of the year, I don’t have a huge clean up. For that, I am very grateful.

 

Ringing in the New Year

 

Tonight, while ringing in the new year, I will ask myself some questions. Right now, I don’t know what they will be. I do know that last night, my husband celebrated his birthday and that he enjoyed himself. Last night, for me, got cleaned up last night so that waking up today felt brand new.

 

I invite you to try this with me. This evening, reflect on today.

 

Tomorrow we will talk about intentions.

 

Happy New Year to you all.

 

 

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Topics: Holidays

Lisa Rosenthal

Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.

Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.

Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.

Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.

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