Talking About Infertility

path-to-fertilityTalking About Infertility infertility supportTo add insult to injury, when talking about infertility the language can be touchy. Some of it is just plain hurtful. And some of it simply and completely, sucks.

Some infertility words I hate:

  1. infertility
  2. failed
  3. arrested
  4. hostile
  5. abortion
  6. diminished
  7. advanced maternal age
  8. poor response
  9. artificial
  10. unnatural
  11. hysterical
  12. crazy
  13. over reacting
  14. selfish
  15. depressed
  16. incompetent
  17. unsuccessful
  18. unlikely
  19. more testing
  20. barren
  21. peri-menopausal
  22. inappropriate hormone levels
  23. birth control
  24. migraines
  25. bruises
  26. injections
  27. co-pay
  28. no insurance
  29. credit card limits
  30. unexpected pregnancies of friends/family members
  31. facebook sonograms
  32. just
  33. secondary
  34. primary
  35. impossible
  36. not possible
  37. no further treatment options
  38. transfer cancelled
  39. retrieval cancelled
  40. hyper stimulation
  41. male factor

There are so many more. These are just a few personal non-favorites.

And to go a step further, here are the worst of them:

  1. incompetent
  2. hostile
  3. failed
  4. impossible

Why are those the worst? Because they accurately expressed my feelings as well as my medical condition.

Coping With Infertility With An Arrow Through the Heart

While coping with infertility, I felt incompetent, hostile, like a failure and that fertility treatment was impossible.

It added insult to injury that those words were used to express medical conditions/situations. 

Abortion for a miscarriage was an arrow through the heart. Pierced truly and completely effectively.

Sticks and stones and all that?

Words hurt.

And the words above hurt me every time that I heard them. 

Would you share with me which ones hurt you? Or name the ones that I didn't list?

I would love to hear from you!

Topics: Feelings, Support, Fertility Treatment

Lisa Rosenthal

Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.

Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.

Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.

Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.

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