Celebrating Our Lives, During Infertility, and Everyday
July 10, 2013. My sister just called to wish me a happy anniversary plus one month.
I love that. I was married 29 years and one month ago. What a great thing to celebrate.
Who’s to say what is worth celebrating and what isn’t?
You. Me. Everyone.
We all get to decide what is worth celebrating.
The Dalai Lama celebrates every morning that he wakes up. That’s what he celebrates: that he wakes up. He doesn’t wait for other, bigger, flashier miracles in his day. Doesn’t need for his meditation to reveal deep, life changing thoughts. Nope, he is content to celebrate simply waking up.
There isn’t anything else that you can celebrate if you don’t wake up.
Infertility Is A Hard Hit
Infertility is a hard hit. There is no doubt about it. Infertility knocks us on our butts emotionally and makes it really hard to get up sometimes. There were mornings when upon waking, all I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and refuse to engage in my life. Anything rather than the routine of fertility treatment, medications, injections, ultrasounds, etc.
Anything. Staying in bed was a very pleasant alternative.
What happens if upon waking instead of feeling celebratory, you feel dread for what lies ahead of you in your day?
Can I just say, it sucks.
Finding the Antidotes
My antidote, what works for me on those days where the weight of my life feels heavy and uncomfortable, is to meditate. I pray too. Actually, I pray first and get my own self out of my way and then I meditate. Prayer is a touchy subject. Respectfully I would ask you to consider that prayer does not have to be done in a religious way, rather in a spiritual way. Prayer can simply be making a list of what you need help with; acknowledging that you need help.
Meditation is breathing into open space that you create with quiet. Very often, lots of different thoughts rush in to distract you from that quiet. That’s ok. We practice and it becomes quieter. We find through regular practice that we become quieter. Like anything else, we practice and it becomes easier.
Celebrating a moment in your day can change everything. Celebrating a moment every hour can shift deep seated feelings. Taking the time to celebrate is a gift that you can offer yourself. It allows you to turn your face to what you can appreciate.
Me, I’m going to celebrate today. Twenty-nine years and one month. Wow. That’s a lot of marriage. That’s a lot to celebrate.
Thanks to my sister, Laura Ellen Rosenthal, for the loving reminder.
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