I love writing about weather. If you look at my PathtoFertility posts over the last three and a half years, you will see that this is true.
Weather and infertility go hand in hand. Especially in the last several years with the dramatic and damaging storms that we’ve been experiencing.
I’m down at the Jersey Shore and I’ve spent several days watching the weather roll across the sky and the ocean. It’s magnificent. The storm clouds gather themselves together, building in color and size and strength and they are full of movement and change.
And the changes are felt in many ways. The temperature. The humidity. The color of the atmosphere. The lighting and thunder. The barometric pressure.
The storms roll in and out.
It occurred to me last night watching the sky light up in the distance, knowing it was headed in our direction, that it was impossible to control.
Well, I know that. Of course we can’t control the weather. We can’t even always predict the weather very accurately but obviously we can’t control the weather. Obviously.
And we can’t control infertility either.
And that is not my point.
Infertility Control: Weather as Metaphor and Reminder
My point is that just as the storms rage in and out, they have their energy that needs to be spent and when they are done, they are done. And the sky lightens, brightens, and often, very often, in a very short time there is no sign that there ever was a storm.
It occurred to me that we spend so much time and energy fighting the way we feel in the midst of fertility treatment that we may actually prolong our own misery. Yes, I said it. Misery. We rationalize it. “It’s not really THAT bad.” We explain it away, “It’s the hormones”. We promise we’ll feel better, “After this ultrasound, I’ll know everything’s ok and will relax”.
We don’t allow ourselves just to feel how we feel. There was probably a better way to write that, less trite. Still, how often do we notice how we feel and accept it until it disappears?
Visualize this. We have a feeling. We notice it. We name it. We accept that we’re feeling it. We go about our business of living our lives. We notice that the feeling is gone.
Like having a storm roll in, do its thing and move out to sea.
I’m going to try it today. Feel it, notice it, not be held hostage by it or change it and then notice when it’s gone.
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