Fertility Team Shares Messages from the Heart
Every year at this time, I collect thoughts from our remarkable team at Reproductive Medicine Associates of CT. Sometimes those thoughts are looking ahead to the new year. Sometimes they are reflections on the past year. Often, they are both.
This year, I got so many thoughtful responses that there will be two blogs devoted to hearing what RMACT team members wanted to share with you.
Today is the first of the two. The second will be the last day of 2012. I hope you enjoy, as much as I did, reading what our team members wanted to share with you. What they felt were important things to say, unedited, straight from their hearts.
Each quote is written by a different team member and signed by their first and last initials.
For me? I want to say thank you for reading PathtoFertility blog. The blog is truly a labor of love and I appreciate the support that you give to me by reading it. Thank you for your kind words about how the blog and I, support you.
With love and respect, Lisa
"We at RMACT know what a special gift parenthood is and how hard the journey can be to achieve it. Cherish every moment (even the tantrums) with our children from this tragedy on. My thoughts and prayers are with all of us struggling thru this Holiday Season." CG
"I was hoping today would be the first day I did not shed a tear for those killed in Sandy Hook. I was wrong. I cried a little bit again this morning.
As a reproductive endocrinologist for the past 25 years I've shared a moment of joy and hope with patients as they see the first heartbeat of a new life. This life that will change their lives and their hearts forever. It is beyond any individual's ability to truly sympathize with a parent that has lost a child unless it has happened to ourselves. Therefore, I can only imagine the pain those parents feel in the context of the death of their children, as so many of us are completely torn up inside.
I am buoyed by the outpouring of support, those that are helping, and most of all the strength and comments from the parents that have lost their precious children. These are children that they had hopes and dreams for, and loved more than they love themselves.
As I struggle to find meaningful action or intervention in light of this tragic/horrific event the only routes I can find are to support the families of these children, and organizations that are willing to change the gun culture in our society. Please advise me on the proper most effective political action committee which is willing to take up this gauntlet of not only banning assault weapons, high-capacity clips, and easy gun acquisition but also changing Second Amendment to reflect the message of our Founding Fathers. I regularly donate to charities and while this wouldn't exactly be a charitable contribution it would be a contribution that would lead to meaningful change in this otherwise great nation which is marred and scarred by its addiction to violence and guns." ML
"We moved to the U.S. fourteen years ago, when my daughter was four. With language barriers, she went to a pre-K class in a local catholic school. After several trying school days, she asked me, “Mom why did we come to America?” Looking at her face, I held back tears. I repeatedly told myself, because America is the best country in the world, because I want you to have a better education...the best childhood, a safe childhood. At the time, I never thought that safety would be an issue.
The shooting in Sandy Hook elementary school is different from the tragedies that happen every day in the world. People die from incidents, and natural disasters. I feel sorry for people who have lost their lives in these unpreventable situations. Humans are powerless in these extraordinary circumstances: however the shooting at Sandy Hook could have been prevented; the death of innocent children should never have happened. Changes including gun control, and mental illness management should have been, and should be enacted. My heart still bleeds when I see those angels’ and teachers’ pictures. I just can’t take it this time.
Change must be done.
Life will never be the same for those who’ve lost their loved ones. I only pray that they are strong enough to carry on through the hardest times of their lives. I sincerely hope that they can still enjoy life in the future. Although I still believe that the U.S. is the greatest nation in the world, we desperately need change, to prevent unnatural, cruel tragedies like Sandy Hook from ever happening again."
"I too am saddened by this senseless tragedy. I cannot imagine what the parents, grandparents, siblings and extended families and friends of the 20 children and 6 adults who were murdered are going through. I hope the classmates, teachers and administrators that were there that day are doing as well as they can with coping and I pray that they find some peace through all of this madness. It is so wonderful seeing the support the nation has given to Sandy Hook and the families. We all have broken hearts…" TC
"May everyone in the RMA community (both patients and staff) find comfort and joy this holiday season." LT
"There are simply no words to express the anguish and sorrow we feel for the families and survivors of the events at Sandy Hook Elementary. It is simply an unimaginable horror. I have cried everyday since this has happened – cried in despair for those families burying their babies much too soon, for the survivors who have a long road of healing in front of them, but also, for brief moments of hope. Seeing how our communities have come together to help those in Newtown, how real changes to mental health care and gun control can and should happen, reading about those hero teachers – some still just young women themselves with their lives ahead of them. I have cried watching my 7 year old – still innocent to this tragedy enjoy his life and those friends around him and realizing his life, our lives, will never be the same.
On a more personal note - My son goes to a wonderful summer camp with an amazing staff. The music teacher, Francine, lost her son in this tragedy. To the Wheeler family – you will always be in our thoughts and prayers." RM
“…everytime a bell rings, an angel gets their wings” Friday, December 14, 2012 gave new meaning to that phrase. Together, we are suffering. Together, we will heal. My thoughts and prayers are with all the families who are suffering from this horrific event." PB
"We have all been reminded once again how fragile our lives are, and how quickly life can change. I’m reminded how every moment is amazing, just because we are here to experience it. I conscientiously think of that fact when I find myself getting irritated, especially when it comes to my family and my own children. I think of those who would give anything to have an empty lunch bag thrown on the kitchen counter, or small dirty socks strewn on the floor, or popsicle sticks stuck in between the cushions of a couch. We have blessings around us every single moment—they are too many to count." SW
"Some of us have had our faith in humanity shaken. But hope is returning. The love and peace in Newtown and in our hearts far outweighs the evil of one person. My wish for this holiday season is that people can see the love and peace amidst the tragedy, and that it gives us all hope. People - especially the parents of the children - amaze me with their strength and grace." TJ
"The sayings “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays” seem incongruent this year in the aftermath of both a terrible hurricane and a tremendous tragedy.
In trying to make sense of all of this, I was wondering if there was any silver lining to all of this, any learning point or message that we, at RMA, can use to bolster our spirits in the next few weeks and year(s) to come.
My only thought is that maybe, this holiday season, instead of buying something shiny and new, we give ourselves the gift of a fresh perspective. Working many years in the same field is good for our knowledge and experience, but maybe not so good for our empathy and compassion. I wonder sometimes if we get caught in the day-to-day details and fail to always recognize our patients and co-workers for the unique individuals that they are, created and influenced by their circumstances and life experiences. Maybe it takes an upheaval of our community, as we know it, to instill in us a new lens, a new appreciation for our chosen field, colleagues and patients.
So, this holiday season, I would like to take this time to thank everyone at RMA for being such a special group of people whose passion for our field and our patients sets us apart from the rest. Also, most importantly, I would like to thank our patients. We are privileged to help such a special group of people on their journey to fulfill their dream to have a family. Thank you for letting us into your lives and trusting us with your care." MM
"Wishing you and your families a Happy Holiday and a nice New Year for 2012. May 2013 bring better happiness and memories to all.
May the families and friends in Newtown, CT stay strong throughout the holiday season and remember everyone’s thoughts and prayers are with them during these hard times." MR
“I wish everyone this holiday season to be thankful and appreciate the friends and family who are in their life, to remember those we have lost and to look ahead to meeting those who will light up our life in the future. I wish you all a happy holidays and new year.” KD
"Some days I wish I had a magic wand so I could just fix every ones problems, stop them from hurting and just take away their pain, but sadly I don’t. what I can do is tell you that it will get better. Even when it seems like everything in this world is falling down around you…it will get better it just takes time. remember the old saying “Time heals all wounds” because it is true time does. And remember you are not alone." ER
"Please pray for our many precious new angels in heaven from Newtown who left this earth and their loved ones way before their time." DD
“I live my life by the old adage, treat someone how you want to be treated. My parents, who are the most wonderful people I know, have instilled this into my sister and I from a very young age, which is one of the many things that I will forever be grateful to my parents. Because of my parents, I have always been able to express care and compassion to everyone I have met and continue to meet, no matter the circumstance. After the tragedy that recently occurred in Newtown, a town so close to home for many of us, my heart just breaks. I wish I could reach out to all of those children, teachers, and their family affected by this tragedy and hug them. I wish I can press a button and take away their pain. I wish, like so many of us, that this terrible tragedy never happened. The teachers and staff and even the kids at Sandy Hook Elementary school that showed their courage that day, that gave their lives that day, are true heroes. I believe they reacted from the heart and we, as a community, as a country, have so much to learn from these heroes. We all need to act with more compassion towards one another, we need to be more kind, we need to imagine what it would be like to “walk in their shoes”. I believe that if we do this, our world will become a better place. Bad things will always happen, but if we all can just do one nice thing a day, hold the door open, smile, then maybe we’d be able to turn someone’s day around, maybe we’d be able to feel connected and just maybe, there wouldn’t be so much pain…” JS
"Wishing you happiness throughout the holidays and into 2013. Hoping that 2013 is the year of all years for family building!!
Would also like to say that my thoughts and prayers are with the families of Sandy Hook Elementary, may you find some sort of comfort throughout these tough times." NL
"To my Neighbors in Newtown,
I have been praying and sobbing with you all since I heard the news on Friday morning. Words will never take away your sorrow but maybe over time actions will. I vow to continue keeping you, your children, your families, and your friends in my thoughts and prayers. I vow to be one of the people in this world who fights to make things better so others will be spared this kind of grief. I vow to raise my children to learn from this tragedy and to cherish every moment they have. I vow to be more thankful and supportive of our teachers like the ones who risked everything on Friday including their own lives. I vow to do a better job of supporting my local Police, Fire and EMS. I vow to learn from this, all of this and to forever keep Newtown in my heart." CVS