Enduring the Two Week Wait During Fertility Treatments
wait·ing [wey-ting] noun
1. a period of waiting; pause, interval, or delay.
What’s harder, action or inaction?
Infertility medications or none?
Fertility treatments and all that they entail or that pause of anticipation until finding out about a pregnancy result?
The verdict is in.
At least with a lot of our patients.
Waiting is so much harder.
Inaction is much more frustrating than action.
Effort is easier than lack of effort.
One would think it would be the other way around.
And sometimes it is.
Think about baking a cake. You assemble the ingredients and then put them together in the correct order. You measure, sift, blend, oil and prepare. You preheat the oven and in your concoction goes. You set the timer.
The work is over and now you wait. The hard part is over.
There is the clean up; putting away the unused ingredients and washing up the measuring spoons and cups and bowls.
Me, I usually have a cup of tea and sit on my back porch at that point.
Now, granted, I rarely bake anymore. But I do cook, very frequently, every day in fact.
And the waiting after all the work is usually not only relaxing, it’s also gratifying for a job finished.
Cooking, Baking and Infertility Treatment: A Different Patience
The difference between cooking, baking and infertility treatment?
There’s almost a guaranteed outcome.
I know if I do certain things, in a particular order, with a specific amount of ingredients that my cooking will come out a typical way. That at the end of the time I will have a cake or a meal.
There is not a guaranteed outcome with IUI’s or IVF.
That’s what makes the wait so unbearable so often.
All that preparation, time, money, effort and no guaranteed outcome.
We set the timer for the two week wait and we don’t know if at the end of the time we will have what we have worked for.
Maybe we will. And maybe we will not.
Nothing relaxing there.
The anticipation overwhelms all the other aspects of our lives during that time.
We wait. We endure the time and focus on the moment that we will have an answer. And we wish time would fly by so we would have an answer.
And very often, as we get closer to the pregnancy test, we all of a sudden want time to slow down, even as we had just wanted it to speed up a moment ago.
Because for now, we can still hope that we are pregnant. We can still dream of our babies. So we ask for time to slow down again because we don’t want the disappointment of finding out the test is negative and there won’t be a pregnancy this month.
A pause. A delay.
We know how hard this wait is; we are waiting with you.
Lisa Rosenthal's Google+
How do you reconcile all those years of birth control with now having infertility
? Was it just a big colossal waste or an even bigger joke? Have you missed your opportunity to become pregnant or parent a child because you were picky about the timing? Is this something you are beating yourself over the head with?
Those are some of the questions that we all ask ourselves. Here are a few thoughts that run through our heads as well; we waited for the right partner, we waited for the right moment, we waited for the right career step, we waited for the right home. Did we simply wait too long?
There's no question that there's a biological clock that ticks more and more loudly for us women as we get older. How do we factor that into things as we prepare to become parents? Do we push becoming a mother to the head of the list, even when we are not ready because there is no partner, no reliable career, no home?
Do we really want young women to get the message that they should have babies before they feel emotionally or financially ready? Isn't that going backwards in time where having babies was one of the few things that was part of the formula for being an adult woman?
Please don't expect to get the answers to these questions here, today. They are complicated, multi-layered questions and social issues that run deeply throughout our society. They are personal questions as well, not just political questions; questions that need to be answered as a society and as an individual.
What I do know is that education is the key. What I do know is that when we make choices, we want to know that we are making them, not find out later that we did so inadvertently. We need to know when fertility starts to decline, we need to know when our fertility drops precipitously, and we need to know when it will be next to impossible to have a biological child of our own. We need to know to protect ourselves from sexually transmitted diseases to avoid them coming back to haunt us when we want to have a baby.
And we may need to know that waiting for all the pieces to be in place will mean landing in a reproductive endocrinologist's office for some help becoming pregnant. This isn't me politicizing becoming pregnant before we're ready, this is me telling a simple truth. We have a biological clock and it ticks. Make sure that you have the information about what it means to make choices in your reproductive life, the same way that you do with your education or your career.