I'm writing this blog in anticipation of being home soon. I am sure that I have had a wonderful vacation. I am equally sure that I will be thrilled to come home. Vacations are a wonderful break from life, but if we enjoy our lives, it's always good to come home as well.
That's what I missed most about the time that I was being treated for infertility. I never felt at home. There was always a list of things that I felt that I couldn't do. Some of my Fertile Yoga students and I were talking about that in the peer support group last week. We even discussed whether decaff coffee was ok to drink. Not enough to give up caffeine, we also need to wonder about decaff? Then there's no drinking, no intense exercise, less processed foods. These may be good things to give up, certainly good to moderate. But for some of us, they indicate making a change to our lives, giving something up.
Comfort foods, for instance. Different for all of us. Mashed potatoes, grilled cheese, macaroni and cheese, miso soup, ice cream sundays, martini straight up, french fries, huge steak, maybe even lime green jello from childhood. Comfort foods, by definition, are eaten for comfort. They remind us of a earlier, usually happier time in our lives.
Ok, so no heroin. Got it. No painkillers. Got it. No marijuana. Got it.
What if feeling at home is all tangled up in some of the things that we need to give up?
Here's what I was always so relieved at not having to give up:
- cotton sheets
- good books
- leisurely walks
- fresh fruit
- egg white omlettes
- sappy movies
- crossword puzzles
- yoga classes
- friends who didn't ask questions but listened well
- sleeping late on the weekends
- gardening in the shade
- clean floors
- grilled cheese sandwiches
- college Lacrosse games
- well vacumned rugs
- picking blueberries
Doing or enjoying any one of those things listed always made me feel at home. And comfortable.