In Many Different Opportunities Will You Find Fertility
Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.
Grow something. Nurture it. Find what is needed to nourish and sustain it.
Find your own fertility. Beyond becoming pregnant.
Lisa Rosenthal's Google+
Thank you to the women from Ladies Night In and Carrie Van Steen for giving us these beautiful, heartfelt thoughts about their partners and husbands.
My husband would be a great teacher for our child
No matter what our child likes or which profession they choose
I know they'll be a good person with a
Thinking of you today
I look forward to seeing you become a daddy very soon
You will be absolutely amazing
When I look at you
my heart swells with gratitude and pride,
knowing you will make a wonderful dad
I dream of the day when
you can prove to the world what a fantastic father that
I know you will be to our future angel
My love for you is so strong
I know with you is where I belong
I can't wait for the day we can be more than two
but until that day comes, being there for each other is
all we need to do.
Why not tell your friends that you are struggling with infertility? Why not share the pain and difficulties that you are experiencing? Who better than to offer support and love than our friends and families?
Here are a few reasons I hear a lot:
- 1. Loss of privacy; too many questions
- 2. Fear of pity
- 3. The other person's inability to understand how we feel
- 4. That they will share the information with others that we don't choose to
- 5. Too private and intimate a subject to discuss
- 6. Shame and embarrassment over our struggle
- 7. Fear we will lose control emotionally in the conversation
- 8. Fear that we will have to comfort the other person
Notice how often fear comes up? None of us want to lead our lives driven by fear, yet we don't share with our friends and family mainly for that reason. One question to consider is what we give up by allowing the fear to keep us quiet with our friends and family. Here is the list that I came up with a long time ago, that allowed me to realize that the gains, for me, from facing my fears far outweighed the losses. A short list, a simple list, but a group of ideas that can mean all the difference between feeling like you are going through life alone or with love.
- 1. Support
- 2. Comfort
- 3. Understanding
Here's a poem that I found that describes well how I felt in the midst of infertility and the idea of sharing my pain with those I love:
MY INFERTILE LIFE
Don't look at me with pity
Don't judge me with your eyes
Don't listen to the others
For they may tell you lies
Don't think I am not caring
Or that I have no needs
Don't think I'm not a lover
Or never done good deeds
Don't see me with no children
And think it's my desire
Don't think a new born baby
Won't set my heart on fire
Just give me understanding
And let me stand and cry
And know my desperation
As my infertile life goes by
And yes, it's a bit depressing. But then so is infertility. If you are experiencing infertility, if you are in the middle of it, then you understand the poem.
If there is no one that you are sharing your pain with, consider telling someone you love, someone you trust, someone who will not judge you, but will listen with an open heart. I know it's scary and you may even tell someone and feel afterwards that it was a mistake, that they don't understand, that it doesn't help. Trust someone else, try again. Don't be alone in this struggle. Counter your loneliness with love.