Path to Fertility Questions and Comments
I have a problem that is driving me to distraction. Without a doubt, it is less of a problem than infertility was and that’s good to remember. That’s actually a yardstick that I use on a consistent basis. Is this as important or have the essential and significant consequences that fertility treatment cycles not working has? No? Ok, good to know and take it down a notch or two. Or eight.
Still, I am upset about this problem. I write these blogs, for you. About you. To you. With you in mind. You get the idea. It’s not all about me, at all. It’s actually all about you.
And so many of you wonderful readers respond. Often with thoughtful, honest and open hearts. With comments that are helpful and kind and educational even.
So here’s my problem, at least for right now. Because we are doing everything behind the scenes to correct this problem.
My problem is that I cannot respond on the blog itself to you, as I used to be able to do. In the past, you would write a comment, I would respond to the comment, you would see the comment. Right now, I cannot respond to you via PathtoFertility comments. Did I mention that we are working on this?
Here’s why it’s a problem. I love hearing from you. And I believe that it’s very discouraging to not see your comments post or to see them post and not see my response to you. It cuts into and stops the dialogue rather than continuing it.
It’s closing the door on a conversation instead of inviting someone into it.
Not my style at all.
So for the time being, I’ve decided on this. I will post your comments and respond to you all privately. That I can do. I can also post your thoughtful comments into a blog itself, which is also what I will do.
I have a great team who is continuing to find a way to have this work more smoothly. I have faith that will happen.
And so the conversation continues. I have a question.
What closes a conversation for you? What feels like an open door to more interchange?
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Path to Fertility, Taking First Steps
I hate the first step, whether it’s on a walk, a run or a hike. Just as I detest getting out of bed in the morning. And I can’t stand going to sleep at night. Sitting down generally will mean that is where I will stay, longer than I should or than I had planned. Sorry if I blew any image of me that you have, I can be a real Debbie Downer.
It seems like it’s about the change from non-movement to movement. That shift is more emotional than physiological.
Simply put, I don’t want to move.
I stayed with a “fertility specialist” for over a year because of this characteristic of mine. I didn’t even like him. He was brusque and kind of non-communicative and always in a rush. But he was what I knew. He was what I was comfortable with; even though he wasn’t a great fit for me.
Why See a Reproductive Endocrinologist?
I was scared to make an appointment with a board certified reproductive endocrinologist (REI- Reproductive Endocrinologist & Infertility). You see that phrase often in this blog. Because I know firsthand how important it is for infertility problems to be treated by someone actually trained and experienced in the field. And yes, I want them to pass the boards--tests that they have to take to be board certified. Yes, I want them to be the best of the best of the best. This is all that REI’s do. Day in, day out, they treat infertility. Its why sometimes certain programs get the reputation of treating people like numbers. In fact, I had a Fertile Yoga student tell me the other day that in a program other than RMACT, she was actually handed a number so that she could be called in for her appointment! No one wants to be treated like she or he is just one more in a long list of numbers.
So yes, I was scared. I wanted the best of the best, but I didn’t want to be treated like just one more person in a waiting room. So I procrastinated. I stayed longer than I should have with a “fertility specialist”. I waited in waiting rooms that included many pregnant women, and not from fertility treatment. I wasn’t treated like a number, but then again, I wasn’t really being treated very well for the infertility I was experiencing either.
Finding Motivation - Waiting vs. Taking a New Approach
My younger sister says it best, in a way that I can understand and respect. She gets up at the inhuman hour of 4:30 am to work out before work. To me, that’s the middle of the night. When I complain to her that I don’t want to work out/walk/do yoga, etc., she reminds me that I don’t have to wait for the feeling of desire to come over me. She reminds me that she doesn’t sit at her dining room table, drinking her coffee and waiting for the urge to wash over her to go to the gym. She just gets up and goes anyway.
My hero. I don’t have to want to. I can even complain, whine, moan and groan while I do it. The point is that I do it. And yes, I do often whine, moan and groan on my way. Interestingly enough, I rarely complain while I’m out on that hike/run/yoga, etc. About thirty seconds into it, I am enjoying myself.
It’s really just the getting there that’s the problem.
So maybe, could I gently suggest that you stop waiting until you want to call the REI? You may never want to. I know I didn’t.
Do it anyway. All you have to do is call. We’ll help you the rest of the way, I promise. And we won’t treat you like a number, I promise you that too.
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For the last three years, you've been listening to me talk to you. Sometimes, you talk back.
On PathtoFertility's third birthday, I heard what you had to say. Loud and clear.
Thank you to everyone for all these kind and loving words. It's been truly my pleasure to share and support men and women going through the struggles of infertility and fertility treatment.
This blog would not be possible without the unwavering support of RMACT, most especially our fertility doctors, Mark Leondires, Spencer Richlin, Joshua Hurwitz and Cynthia Murdock (welcome to our new doctor, Shaun Williams!).
A very special call out to three other people.
Robin Mangieri, everyone should be able to work for someone as compassionate, professional and just plain fabulous as you!
Greg Zola, you are my biggest cheerleader, quietly putting everything in place to make the blog successful and being such a good friend at the same time.
And Cara Murray, the loving attention that you give the blog every single day is apparent at all times. I feel like we walk hand in hand creating the blog and I thank you for your support, help and guidance.
I am looking forward to working with all of you for the next three years. As Dr. Mark Leondires said last night, a four-year-old is often a lot easier than a two-year-old!
With love and respect,
Path to Fertility: Infertility Blog News
Path to Fertility, our infertility blog that strives to create community and offer compassionate support on your journey through fertility treatment, is going to turn three years old next month. Happy birthday! Let's throw a party!
I can't decide, in this situation, whether time is standing still or flying by. Some days I feel like I've been writing it forever, some days writing feels so fresh and brand new it's as though I'm writing for the first time.
The total blogs posts, approximately, for three years, at five times a week, is seven hundred and eighty blogs.
That's a lot of blogs. That's a LOT of blogs. We're going to be celebrating PathtoFertility in several different ways in the next month.
- One way is to thank our guest bloggers who have added their voices, opinions, reviews and more. We always welcome blogs submitted by our readers, educators in the field, medical folks and patients.
- Another way that we will be celebrating the PathtoFertility's birthday is to gather together the favorite blogs over the years. You get to tell us which were your top three favorite blogs.
- You can even tell us why, or not. I already know one of mine. The baby shower. Oh my goodness, that dreaded baby shower. Now, I know that not every baby shower is dreaded. This particular baby shower was just awful. It was a low point. A very, very low point. Read it again or for the first time: Angry Infertile Woman (me), Baby Showers and Bathrooms. See if you agree that it was one of the best.
- We are also planning on making the blog more user (reader!) friendly. We'll make sure that you know how to subscribe, what the blog is about, how to post a comment easily (remind you of your privacy when you do so), and allow you to look at older blogs more easily.
We are preparing to celebrate this blog's birthday and are open to suggestions on how to do so.
Any ideas? Please share your comments below.
Fertility Blog Favorites
At Ladies Night In last night in Norwalk, we discussed this blog. PathtoFertility quietly celebrated its second year last fall. We are just about two and a half years old.
It's often surprising to me which blogs create ripples of conversation, emotional responses or elevate understanding of an issue. Here are a few that I've chosen that I know have been popular over the last several years.
Angry infertile woman at a baby shower with only one bathroom. You could cry or you could laugh. Or both.
Fertile Yoga at RMACT was created three years ago by Lisa Rosenthal and supported by RMACT, open to the public. See the television interview!
Fertility Doctor Mark Leondires, MD, in an interview about prize-winning CCS, Comprehensive Chromosomal Screening. CCS screens all 23 pairs of human chromosomes from several embryonic cells, drastically reducing rate of miscarriage.
Normal versus the twilight zone when it comes to infertility and fertility treatment: What becomes normal in our own worlds?
Infertility Lab Director discusses embryo identification and safety. How do you know you are getting the right embryos?
On the path to fertility, I discovered I'm insulin resistant. Fertility Treatment is Actually Saving My Life. A real fertility success story.
Learn how surrogates and gestational carriers help couples realize their family building dream.
Know Someone Infertile? Top 5 Things to say. Top 10 Things NOT To Say. Hand this list to friends and family if you are struggling with infertility challenges. English and Spanish lists!
Your Feedback Matters
If your favorite is not here, please write to me and tell me which it is. When you write to me here at the blog, your questions and comments come directly to me, they do not post to the blog itself. If you prefer that your comments do not get posted to the blog, let me know.
Happy Birthday to PathtoFertility blog!
A gift, truly from the heart.
Just a little over a year ago, this blog was launched with love by Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut.
The blog was created as a way of supporting our patients as well as others struggling with infertility. We wanted to offer a mixture of support, education, compassion and medical information in a way that was conversational and accessible.
I was given the honor and privilage of caring and tending the blog. It is an honor that I have taken seriously, digging deep when necesssary to look at tough subject matter; as well as trying to keep a sense of humor when appropriate. I get asked frequently how it's possible to find something to write about 5 days a week, every week. Sometimes it's tougher than others. On those days, it's my contact with patients, Fertile Yoga students, my colleagues at RMACT and the professional community that come to my rescue.
I couldn't do it without you. You inspire me. All of you. Robin Mangieri, who recognized my passion and gave me an outlet in which to express it. Dr's Leondires, Richlin, Hurwitz and Murdock, who allowed me free rein to express myself, trusting me to be supportive and helpful to their patients. Fertile Yoga students, who show up every week, who get pregnant and leave and who still read faithfully daily. The staff at RMACT, who read the blog and make suggestions regularly on writing material- keep it coming! To my husband and family who are now used to my typing away at all hours of the night and morning. Greg Zola, my favorite fan, could not do it without him! The professional community out there who have posted passionately on facebook and then followed up to guest blog here and to Pamela Madsen, the Fertility Advocate, my inspiration and my closest friend, who's been writing and examining things in reproductive health for years.
You are how I write 5 days a week, every week. You inspire me.
Here's the mission statement that we posted on November 27, 2009:
The Path to Fertility is a place for comprehensive information on infertility treatment in a sensitive and compassionate way. Blogger Lisa Rosenthal has a long history of fertility patient advocacy, support and infertility education that provides comfort, helpful suggestions and a smile or two to those undergoing or considering fertility treatment. The Path to Fertility is here for you, to keep you company on your journey. We welcome and encourage your comments and feedback.
Thank you everyone for your support, love and help! PathtoFertility has been a labor of love that has been returned over and over again. I'm looking forward to the next year unfolding.