Do you have a safe spot? A place that you put things that you care about and want to make sure that you can find? Is it so safe that often you can’t find it again when you are looking for it?
Is that the place that you bury hope? Self confidence? Awareness of your own beauty, health and grace? What has infertility caused you to put away for safe keeping?
Here’s my story from the weekend. I have a safe spot. Unfortunately it is constantly moving. So I am constantly forgetting where it is. So while it is safe from burglars, it is also safe from me. I have a ring that contains a diamond that was originally my husband’s grandmother. My mother in law and I had a very loving, special relationship. Yes, there were times where we drove each other a little crazy, (especially around the infertility experience) but mainly we were satisfied and happy in each other’s company. She died fifteen years ago and I still miss her. That was the kind of relationship that we had, I had been welcomed in with open arms.
My mother, thank goodness, is still alive, active and vibrant. Several years ago, we went into the diamond district in New York City (an experience not to be described in a sentence or two!) and my mother bought me a gorgeous setting for the diamond that my mother in law left me. The diamond that had sat, unset, unworn, unused for over a decade. The setting was spectacular, full of new diamonds that sparkled fire from every facet.
Now I had a diamond ring that brought together my two families in a concrete way that I could wear on my finger. My mother and my husband’s mother, together in one place, in a gorgeous, brilliant way that I could wear and gaze at and enjoy. A ring that was celebrating our two families, united as one, not celebrating an anniversary, but the love of two mothers.
And so when I went away for a week without it, I put it in a safe place. That was in February. The calendar reminded me that it was now October. I have looked and looked and looked for this ring. Everywhere it should or could be and everywhere there was no way that it would be. To no avail. My friends and family teasing me at first, then getting concerned at the length of time between my putting it in a safe place and retrieving it. We were now into the third season since it had sat on my finger.
So this weekend, yesterday, I was determined. I set an intention. I cleaned my room, my closet, my house. But in the back of my mind, first in my heart, my ring was going to appear. And so I cleaned and sorted and rid myself of old clothes, books, magazines an d other things that I no longer needed in my life.
And going through a purse that I finally decided to donate, in a small silk jewelry bag, was my ring.
What have you put in a safe place that it’s time to let back in your life? Hope? Determination? Love for self?
Consider finding that safe place and seeing what is there.