The cover of a book is chosen very carefully. Book publishers are very aware that it is one significant way in which people choose books. Authors, reputations, book clubs, yes, definitely. But covers too. Especially for a book that might be a little edgy or unknown. They inspire us to open the book, then maybe, to buy them.
Just recently, my best friend had her first (but not last!) book published. I was astonished at how many different versions of the cover we looked at. I was lucky enough that she shared them with me. Image after image, very different or just tweaked slightly.
A cover reflects the best of what’s inside. In one sense, it’s a teaser. It offers up the visual of what the book wants to say about itself.
That’s what we all do. We choose our clothes, hairstyle, make up, jewelry, car we drive and as much else as possible to reflect who we are or who we would like people to think we are.
When we feel that urge or pull to be parents and we are not, it’s very visible to the world. Easily enough commented on as well, isn’t it?
Infertility can be one of the most exposing, vulnerable diseases we will experience. It makes us vulnerable on so many levels. We often wear our hearts on our sleeves, hoping and praying that we will conceive, that our children will come to us.
While we’re waiting for them, though, it is clear to everyone that we are not parents. Our desire to have them, no matter how strong, is not usually as visible.
Might it be easier if there was some sign that let people know we were trying and wanted children and that there was no need to ask about it?
Perhaps, even better, a warning sign? In flashing neon? Don't ask!
I think that I was my most honest and vulnerable while I was trying to conceive. My yearning , hopefulness and strain all shone across my face at any given moment.There was a fundamental change that was trying to peek out.
It's clear when we are not parents yet. It makes us vulnerable. It forces the inside, the internal to be at peace with the external. They match perfectly, what we don't have and what we want.
As does having our children. Our insides and outsides match then too. With contentment and joy.
I just have to brag this morning about my Fertile Yoga students. They are an ever changing, awesome (borrowing from Dr. Richlin) group of courageous, hardy women.
My Fertile Yoga students inspire me. I’ve said it before and it remains true. They inspire me by showing up. By walking the walk of trying to conceive, by supporting their bodies, minds and emotions through infertility treatment. They inspire me by checking in with themselves and seeing how they feel, below the surface. They inspire me by talking about it with each other in peer support groups, by offering each other suggestions, by listening to each other’s stories. Sometimes they inspire me just by nodding at each other as they listen patiently to someone’s pain. They often calm each other as they hear about a procedure or protocol that they are about to experience. They celebrate each step of the fertility journey with each other, knowing that each step of fertility treatment that goes well is a tremendous relief. They understand each other, even when they come from different backgrounds, different towns, different upbringings, different educations. They understand the desire for a family, for a child.
Yes, very inspiring. Love my students!!!
Here are some images that I find inspiring. A visualization or two to help you on your day…. If you find one inspiring, make it your desktop image. Sink into it. Print it, put it on your bathroom mirror. Let it inspire you, lift you up. If there's not one here, take a camera, create one. Take a paintbrush, paint one. Find a visual image that lifts you up and allow it to do so.