This week is all about thanksgiving. Gratitude. Thoughts of what we have in our lives, right in this moment, even with infertility in the front of our minds. Each day’s blog will be dedicated to gratitude and thanksgiving, in all its different forms.
There are days where the things that I am grateful for huge, epic in their vastness. Things like health and love and kindness. Friends and family. A home, not just a house.
Then there are days like last week, (thank you to everyone for your love and concern!) that the little things in life pop up to be grateful for because the bigger things seem to far away. Love those little things. That the day is 4 degrees warmer and so the air feels gentle when I walk outside. The patch of sun hitting the floor, making it glow. Phone call from a friend that I haven’t heard from in a while. The estimate on the car repairs being far lower than expected. My favorite tea being there. A full water bottle in the car. Hot water for a shower. Two dollar movie theatres (Edmondtown Hall in Newtown, CT, what a steal!) Not having heard a single Christmas song on the radio before Thanksgiving. Yet. Clean sheets on the bed. A working dishwasher after two and a half years. My mother being alive and well. My sisters being alive and well. The best dog in the world. Fabulous friends. Partner and husband of over 31 years.
Interesting how the little things that I am grateful for lead me back to the bigger things that I am grateful for. And so it goes the other way around. The more that I feel grateful, the more that I feel grateful. Big things lead to appreciating the little things, and the little things lead to appreciation a bout the bigger things.
A few more things that I am grateful for: Fertile Yoga students (you rock!); the people that I work with; being able to inhale and exhale; finding a reason to smile every single day.
Thursdays’ blog is your blog. Your opportunity to say what you are grateful for. Including not having to see people or that Thanksgiving is only one day and then it’s over or that you are getting through the day by hiding at home.
Please help me write it this Thursday. We’ll share Thanksgiving together.
I'm writing this blog in anticipation of being home soon. I am sure that I have had a wonderful vacation. I am equally sure that I will be thrilled to come home. Vacations are a wonderful break from life, but if we enjoy our lives, it's always good to come home as well.
That's what I missed most about the time that I was being treated for infertility. I never felt at home. There was always a list of things that I felt that I couldn't do. Some of my Fertile Yoga students and I were talking about that in the peer support group last week. We even discussed whether decaff coffee was ok to drink. Not enough to give up caffeine, we also need to wonder about decaff? Then there's no drinking, no intense exercise, less processed foods. These may be good things to give up, certainly good to moderate. But for some of us, they indicate making a change to our lives, giving something up.
Comfort foods, for instance. Different for all of us. Mashed potatoes, grilled cheese, macaroni and cheese, miso soup, ice cream sundays, martini straight up, french fries, huge steak, maybe even lime green jello from childhood. Comfort foods, by definition, are eaten for comfort. They remind us of a earlier, usually happier time in our lives.
Ok, so no heroin. Got it. No painkillers. Got it. No marijuana. Got it.
What if feeling at home is all tangled up in some of the things that we need to give up?
Here's what I was always so relieved at not having to give up:
- cotton sheets
- good books
- leisurely walks
- fresh fruit
- egg white omlettes
- sappy movies
- crossword puzzles
- yoga classes
- friends who didn't ask questions but listened well
- sleeping late on the weekends
- gardening in the shade
- clean floors
- grilled cheese sandwiches
- college Lacrosse games
- well vacumned rugs
- picking blueberries
Doing or enjoying any one of those things listed always made me feel at home. And comfortable.