Trying to Conceive Amid Well Intentioned Faux Pas
There is a list of things that we never want to hear when we are trying to conceive. It lives on the blog and it gets updated periodically: 10 Things NOT to Say to an Infertilte Person | 5 Helpful Things You SHOULD Say. There's always something new! As technology advances so do the insensentive, even if well meant, comments.
You know that my personal dis-favorites have anything to do with God. Or anything that someone tells me that God wants or does not want for me. I never asked for a personal interpreter to let me know what God has in store for me. I’m pretty pleased, actually, with my relationship to God and everyone else can just keep their opinions to themselves.
And yes, in this mood, this e-card on facebook appealed to me. A lot.
Maybe the snappiest comeback ever to another personal favorite when I was in fertility treatment and not the happiest of campers.
“You want kids? I’ll give you mine.”
Best come back ever. EVER!
Infertility E-Cards: A New Collection
I'm starting a collection of infertility e-cards. Doubtful that Hallmark will start a new section in the card section of the store, but at least we have the Internet. An added benefit, they are actually funny!
Can you just imagine the look on your friend's face, when you showed up at their door with an attorney in tow?
As you come across these clever, sarcastic, funny and poignant cards/statements/responses, please send them on to me. I promise, here and now, to share them so that we can all enjoy them.
Even if it's just the afterglow of having wished that we had said that in the moment.
Who knows. The moment may come again and maybe we'll be able to actually say it.
Wouldn't that be fun?
Lisa Rosenthal's Google+
Maybe you have a sense of humor, maybe you don't. Maybe you do one moment, and not the next moment. Maybe you will find this funny, maybe you won't. Read on...
The latest.... The greatest.... Come ride the spectacular new roller coaster, now open at an IVF clinic near you! Take...
THE IVF PLUNGE!
Thrills! Chills! Stabs! Jabs! Laughs! Screams!
What makes THE IVF PLUNGE so unique is that it is actually several rides in one! But not all riders will experience all the rides - automatic track switchers randomly select cars to go on any particular sequence. In addition, selection of a clinic also results in different protocols, behavior, treatment, cost and support. So THE IVF PLUNGE is never the same ride twice!
For more details, read on....
Some riders will experience thrills on the INSURANCE ride! Swinging you around, upside down and inside out, a brass ring of coverage will be tantalizingly close, only to be snatched away at the last minute! For those riders who manage to snatch the brass ring, a FREE RIDE on THE IVF PLUNGE is available! (provided they meet certain restrictions.) Riders who don't grab the brass ring get a consolation prize - a ride on the CASH attraction! Whether maxing out the credit cards, taking a second loan on the house, or sponging off of future grandparents, this is a ride that you will remember for the rest of your life as you struggle to pay off the debt!!
A new attraction for PCO sufferers has recently been added - called DAY ONE. This ride starts with the well-known classic DAY ONE - a big draw in the INFERTILITY group of attractions - and ratchets the anticipation UP!!! Will YOU meet the cut-off date??? Then of course there is the Day 3 FSH - do YOUR ovaries have what it takes?
The first part of the main ride is familiar to those who've been to the INFERTILITY attractions before - OPKs! But the intensity is GREATER - the highs are higher and the lows are lower and the kits are even HARDER to read!! But it all pays off as you move into....
MEDICATIONS! This is the most intense part of THE IVF PLUNGE, described by visitors as the ride from hell!! Whether your shots are sub-cutaneous or intramuscular, you won't want to miss the artificial menopause brought on by lupron, and don't forget THE HORRORMONES! You think you've done injectibles before? You think you're a pro? THINK AGAIN!! With HIGHER levels of injectibles, and DAILY monitoring, this is where the nightmare becomes reality! Then who can forget the terror of HYPERSTIMULATION, one of those random side trips! Another random side trip, POOR RESPONSE, has a chance of ending your ride early!!! Just another sense of anticipation! Can YOU make it through this part of the ride?
If so, it's on to RETRIEVAL AND TRANSFER. This ride is unique in that NO TWO PEOPLE EXPERIENCE THE SAME THING!! Some will sail through with arms raised, careening into the next sequence. Others will be shunted off due to poor egg or sperm quality, incomplete fertilization, or fragmented embryos! Your heart will be in your mouth as you await the phone call telling you how many embryos made it! And will you be sick with anticipation, or is that a reaction to the anesthesia???
Then the TWO WEEKS FROM HELL. Words cannot describe this phenomenon! With daily intramuscular shots of progesterone in oil, this is probably the most painful part of the ride! The highs and lows are even more intense, as you are surrounded by well-meaning but offensive friends and relatives saying "Well?" and otherwise telling you what you SHOULD have done. NOTHING you have experienced in the two week wait of prior cycles will prepare you for this!! You will laugh, cry, scream - all at the same time! You will feel suspended in time as you wait for.....
THE TEST. The most anticipated part of the ride!!! Some random number (depending on clinic stats) will PASS!! Those lucky riders will go on to the PREGNANCY ride, a swirling maelstrom of emotions, changes, and risks! Those who receive a negative beta-HCG are not left out though. They will descend a huge drop of what will seem like ten miles in about 10 seconds!! The misery and tears will be just the beginning, as pregnant women and women with babies and adorable toddlers will be EVERYWHERE! But never fear, because for only thousands of dollars you can once again -
Take THE IVF PLUNGE