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Path To Fertility Blogger Lisa Rosenthal  

Lisa Rosenthal has over twenty-five years of experience in the fertility field, including her current roles as Coordinator of Professional and Patient Communications for RMACT and teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a class designed to support, comfort and enhance men and women's sense of self. Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association, where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director

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Pissed to Be Pregnant With Twins? Who's Judging Them? Not Me!

  
  
  

Pregnant with Twins: One Couple's Reaction

pregnant with twins from ivfBear with me, there’s a blog out there that I want to comment on concerning IVF and twins. Namely, the blog about a couple who is pregnant with twins and are “pissed off” about it. Being me, I have a few things I want to say first.

 

Becoming pregnant and having a safe and healthy delivery and beautiful baby afterwards.

 

Those are the goals when you are up against infertility issues.

 

A lot of us go through a period of wishing, hoping, and even praying for twins.

 

Why?

 

You have your baby. And your baby has its sibling.

 

And so you’re done.

 

Some of us stay in that phase and are thrilled when that is what comes to pass. Two babies at the same time. Twins.

 

Many of us move on to feeling that one at a time, or simply one is a safer, healthier, even saner choice.

IVF and Twins: Elective Single Embryo Transfer (ESET)

Certainly the infertility field and most board-certified reproductive endocrinologists and fertility programs are moving away from multiples with elective single embryo transfer (ESET). There are many reasons why conceiving, carrying and delivering a single baby is preferable to multiples.

 

Main reason: it’s safer for baby and mom. The outcome is more predictable with just one at a time.

 

Really. We all know this.

 

Thank goodness so many twins and multiples are born healthy and strong and vital. And that so many moms make it through just fine as well. That’s a huge comfort for any of us carrying more than one. Good prenatal care, eating properly, exercising moderately, sleeping and listening to your doctor’s advice carefully will help ensure a good outcome.

 

This is the longest preamble in history to talk about the blog on CNNHealth yesterday.

 

Title:  “We’re Pissed” to be pregnant with twins.

 

Here’s a quote from the dad to be: "To say we're excited would be an exaggeration," the dad wrote on Babble.com in an anonymous post that recently started trending on social media. "More truthfully, we're pissed. And terrified, and angry, and guilty, and regretful."

 

I know this is not politically correct. I know that we’re all supposed to be happy and thrilled because there’s a healthy, on-going pregnancy and that infertility has been conquered. I know that those of us who are still not pregnant could feel really resentful and angry towards this couple for speaking out about their upset.

 

Me?

 

I want to send them a thank you note.

 

What I have learned about human nature is that we are not unique. Well, we are, of course. We are all individuals and have our own DNA and personalities. Of course we do.

 

We also have a lot more in common with every other human being on earth than we do with any other species.

 

That’s a lot to have in common.

 

And in my humble opinion, there are folks out there that are relieved that this couple opened their mouths and said what they were not comfortable saying. Because it’s not politically correct or okay. And they said it anyway. They have voiced what some of us may have felt when we found out that there was more than one gestation.

 

That they’re scared. And upset. And maybe they would have preferred childfree to two at one time.

 

I thank them because if it relieves guilt and shame for other people pregnant with more than one, then that’s a good deed.

 

Pregnancy Emotions and Honest Admissions

 

Admitting to mixed or even negative feelings is not easy to do. But it’s honest. And it’s not a predictor, by the way, about how they will do as parents. Feelings aren’t reality. Feelings can pass. They can change and shift, especially with the help of a mental health professional.

 

Many of us are thrilled to become pregnant with multiples.

 

But not all of us.

 

And for those of us who are not, I applaud this couple for speaking so frankly about what others may not want to say. It can relieve the shame and guilt of these feelings.

 

So please, let’s not judge them. They’re not asking you to feel differently. And they are entitled to how they feel and to say it out loud. I know it’s hard to hear. Still, they have the right to say it.

 

More tomorrow on how to make choices and avoid situations that truly are not right for you.

 

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Infertility News- Single Embryo Transfer (SET) proves very effective

  
  
  
Single embryo transfer (SET) is the subject of a lot of conversation in the infertility field. Doctors, scientists, and other clinicians are discussing it and going further, doing research that supports SET, showing how often it can work.

Below you can see my trail as I looked for the research that has been done recently. I make it a practice to actually find the research when I read something online, not just find a news organization or website that paraphrases the information.  So I googled infertility news, then took a look at topix. Topix touts itself as "Infertility News- News on Infertility continually updated from thousands of sources around the net".

Here are some of the issues that were listed:

•1.    Catholic Health Center for Women Opens in Manhattan

•2.    Time Magazine looks at health breakthroughs that can impact your infertility....  

Ok, that one looked interesting, so I went further and went to examiner.com and got what's below: 

Time discusses new research with embryos.  They look at research done by Finnish researchers.  They have done research with fresh and frozen embryos.  What they discovered is that "transferring a single fresh embryo to the womb, followed by transfers of individual thawed embryos in later fertility cycles" works as well as implanting several embryos.  The research was done at a fertility clinic looking at 2 different groups of women. One group "had a double embryo transfer 95% of the time, the second group 46% of the women chose single-embryo." The study showed that in both groups, "90% delivered babies within the first four treatment cycles."

So I went further and looked up Finnish research on single embryo transfer and read this headline on innovations-report.com :

First study to show IVF single embryo transfer is just as successful as double transfer in older women - and safer.

The article goes on to say:

Research by fertility experts in Finland has demonstrated for the first time that in many cases transferring a single embryo to the womb in women undergoing IVF is just as likely to result in pregnancy and a live birth in those aged 36 to 39 as it is in younger women.

The article and research go on to discuss the specifics of SET. You may want to take a look. This may be information that concerns your treatment, things you may not have considered.

In our country, our health coverage is one thing in one state, something else in another state. One type of coverage depending on whom you work for, where the company is located, or whether you are self -employed. This makes the issue of SET a matter of financial consideration in our country where it may not be in Finland or other countries.

We'd love to hear what you have to say. Would you consider a SET? What are your feelings about having twins or triplets?

More to come on this subject.

 

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