Here in Connecticut we have had a glimpse of the types of storms that normally we just read about. Floods, high winds, downed power lines, electricity in entire cities out for over a week and more. Rivers overflowing their banks for the first time in decades.
Overwhelming. Just as infertility and treatment can be. Unpredictable. Just as the dips and turns in fertility treatment can be. Frightening. Just as hearing an upsetting diagnosis can be. And no way of really controlling what's going on, either outside with the stormy weather or in the midst of fertility treatment. Sometimes, even with the best infertility protocols and management, your retrieval will come earlier or later than you think or expect. Sometimes a fertility cycle will more move slowly or more quickly than is typical and you are taken by surprise about when you need to take time off from work. Out of control feels just that; out of control.
And unpredictable is just that as well. Unpredictable means being unable to plan, to schedule, even to commit to anything. The more patients that I listen to, the more I hear and remember how difficult this piece of fertility treatment is. Just the simple act of not being able to make a date with friends to go out, to the more complicated issues around planning a vacation become more and more challenging.
Disappointment is a big factor here as well. When we expect one thing, to find out that something different is happening, how do we see it? Is it possible to see an extended cycle as an opportunity? Possible to see any disappointment as an opportunity? At our best, yes, I think so, I hope so, and I definitely strive to make it so.
Then add in these factors; not sleeping enough; eating choices that are less than healthy; having few releases for the anxiety that is building, and I believe that disappointment will win and the opportunity will not be seen.
Thank goodness for those good moments, that heartwarming news, those hopeful feelings; they help counterbalance all of the above. If the weather is stormy now, well, it's supposed to be a beautiful weekend. The flowers are flowering, the earth is brightening, and the storms are feeding the earth. Sleeping, eating and creating ways to release tension are all ways of keeping the disappointment in perspective. Letting the unpredictable come and go and realize the ebb and flow are just part of the rhythm of life, in or out of fertility treatment.
No question that it's challenging. And we're right here with you so that you don't have to go through it alone.